Fire

The sun shines and I believe it to be the answer to the question that has been drilling itself into my brain for more than any amount of time that I prefer to think about. That question, “Will it be you that can bring it all back for me?” has burned into my mind day after day for as long as I can remember. I could not know it would be you, but indeed it is. I realize now that I have seen you before, in a daydream, or could it possibly have been just a dream, most certainly not a nightmare of any sort. It does not matter; you will turn things full circle and allow me to start to live my life, as I should have for so long. And this brilliant sun that shines behind you as you approach, the light that reflects your inner beauty, it bursts through me, taking with it the uncertainty and loneliness. You will take it all away; you will explain how it will be. The halo of light intensifies as you near. My perfect angel. My saving grace.
And my eyes clear to reveal the truth before me. You have been my world all along. I have sat in a state of dumbfound idiocy waiting for you to free me from my imprisoned soullessness, my empty oneness, my boring repetitiveness that is my life. To sit as a gargoyle in the sunlight for so many years has pulled my spirit to the lowest of lows. And yet here you are, walking towards me, and the glow emanating from you purifies me as only the most blessed water can. I can only hope that I have been saved myself. And then you touch me. The energy I feel in my blood, coursing through my veins, elates me to the highest. The intense orgasm occurring in my mind can only be something that happens once in a man’s life. The light touch of your skin upon my hand, the softness of your white glow, fills me with determination and reverence.
That fleeting moment, that glimpse into my future that has allowed me to see the person that I may be, my partner, my soul mate, has transformed me within that instant. And as the moment passes, you are on your way, away from me, leaving me shivering and shaking where I stand. My love, my darling, where are you going? And I see. You are not mine, nor will you ever be. The hand that eludes me is held by someone else. And I can only hope that this person will venerate the goddess that you are, as I would have. I will not fight to find you again, to hope to steal you away. You are not mine; you belong to another, and this I must live with. There may be another who will glow from the light, another perfect angel, another mother figure who will find me one day. I wait, incomplete, imperfect, until chance has shown its face a second time.